Neo-sladism in Central Europe!
Phat reports on a disturbing new movement
Twenty years after it was thought to have been destroyed for good and all, there are signs that the dangerous creed of Sladism is gathering momentum once again in Central Europe.
After a long, careful and sometimes dangerous investigation, Phat is now able to confirm the existence of several groups of fervent neo-sladists, apparently focused in the new Czech Republic.
Holder Alive?
Although Noddy Holder, the charismatic leader of the movement, is believed to have drowned in 1975 after attempting to cross a narrow bridge wearing 18-inch platform boots, a new generation of followers believe their hero is still alive, possibly playing the South American circuit.
Bombing Threat
While most Sladists are behaving peacefully - for now - one extremist group, calling itself the Holder Yooth, is reported to be preparing a terrorist campaign against fashion houses across Europe. They are likely to demand a minimum height of four inches on footwear and a strict ban on "tasteful" clothing. Phat has uncovered evidence that secret exchanges of arms and high explosive are already taking place.
Open-air Rallies
Holder Yooth members are already daring to congregate openly in public, ostentatiously stomping about in the distinctive knee-length boots, spangled jackets and extravagant hats which originally identified the group twenty years ago. Rallies are taking place, where surviving members of Holder's inner circle, including the notorious anti-fashionist Dave Hill, lead the masses in what can only be described as a shouting match.
We asked this young man what he thought of the Holder Yooth.
(150k Quicktime)
"Harmless Nostalgia"
Rally organisers claim that these activities are only harmless nostalgia, and are careful to include other elements of Seventies "culture" in their programmes. But there are clear signs that, 20 years on, the threat to civilisation that was - that is - Sladism is growing and spreading.
Watch for signs of revivalism in your media - there are Sladists in high places.
Be vigilant. Be careful. And don't trust anyone wearing flared trousers.
More Phat
Phat is an offering to the Web community from C21 Publishing. Mail phat@c21pub.demon.co.uk with feedback, offers of help, if you want to reproduce it, and so on. Thanks.
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