Headbanging Dangerous!!!!!Headbanging Dangerous!!!!!I've always thought wanting to be a headbanger was far more dangerous than headbanging itself, but in a sensational report released in late August, respected US scientists have published findings proving that head-banging can cause long term damage.
We asked Chainsaw Parts, lead singer of speed metal band, "We Hate Your Family", to comment. He said "Uroongh! Sdevath mytjeks!" and went on to add a hearty "Gnnnnnnx" before putting the phone down on us. When we assigned our own specialist, Dr Dirk Boner PHD, to investigate, he faxed us the following statement: "Well wipe my watering anal-warts with white spirit, what did you expect?! As well as causing the loosening of the connections between scalp and hair, it also looks stupid as shite! As a doctor I thoroughly recommend avoidance of this pastime at all costs."
So there you have it. The next time you feel the urge to rock, just say no. Next month: How sew-on patches and dodgy denim jackets lead to syphilis.
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