C'mon Then:

Five Ways to Start a Fight

  1. Go to a Palace match in an Arsenal shirt.
  2. Keep interrupting the older tour guide at Highate Cemetry.
  3. Invite the Pope to tea with Sinead O'Connor.
  4. Invade Poland.
  5. Go up to anyone bigger than you and hit them repeatedly with a fish.
(Phat would like to warn the impressionable that fighting is not very nice at all. Unless you are a professional boxer who practices his trade as a last resort, in which case it's still probably OK for another year or two. However fighting can also lead to a cutesy make-up and snuggles period. Everyone: "Aaaaah.")

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